MySpace.com: Click here to check out my profile page.

If your bored and want to see the freaks I hang with, introduce me to yours or get my weekly where I'll be drinking report, you can make a profile on Myspace.com. You can view my profile here or user search DrunkTom@aol.com to add me. You can also add Live 105 <--click that.

Ask Tom : My ghetto ass advice column!  ***NEW***

eat duCks** (2:49:38 PM): whats a hooker?
Drunk Tom (3:01:14 PM): sorta like an angel, sent from God.
Drunk Tom (3:01:39 PM): to do good deeds to all the worlds men then take their money...AKA relationship.
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metal16: u have any tips for staying hard longer?? Cause i get hella nervous shu no
Drunk Tom: if u stop spankin it, u will be hard all the time.
Drunk Tom: Your penis is a muscle, so being hard all the time will get it strong...only problem is if sex goes down, u will be a 2 pump chump.
metal: its all good, fast is better then none
Drunk Tom: true, but not spankin off is harder then kicking heroin...go backpack through Europe for a couple months. Stay in hostels so u cant ever be alone to wank, u will come home a rock hard champ.

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R0CK THE CASBAH (2:58:40 PM): Why don't guys like me?
Drunk Tom (2:59:48 PM): You have low self esteem. how old are you?
R0CK THE CASBAH (2:59:55 PM): 13
Drunk Tom (3:03:46 PM): its normal at that age
Drunk Tom (3:04:28 PM): give it a year, you will lose your cherry to a senior in the bathroom at a party while drunk after kissing other straight girls on dares while boys cheer and feel better about yourself
R0CK THE CASBAH (3:05:34 PM): o ok. Thanks!
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lovemyreef (6:10:50 PM): Hey my friend has a horribly insane fetish to be with a midget
Drunk Tom (6:13:03 PM): your "friend" eh? one bags my beer at Longs
Drunk Tom (6:24:21 PM): he should really go to New Orleans, drunk midgets everywhere! But until then send him to http://www.dwarfdate.com/
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Ross*** (4:18:34 AM): whats a better alternative to chewing tobacco. i aint really addicted or a red neck. i just do it out of bordem sometimes, but sometimes i do crave it. What ever shall i do drunktom?
DrunkTom (4:20:37 AM): you gotta puke off it. when i puke off a brand of beer, i cant drink that beer for a while, so take a poop load until u get sick and puke. u wont want it for a while
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Indrok*** (7:46:27 PM): Why did my boyfriend cheat on me?
Drunk Tom (7:47:04 PM): Because your a girl and only date a-holes.
Indrok*** (7:48:21 PM): but i didn't know he was an a-hole.
Drunk Tom (7:49:54 PM): if u date him, he is an a-hole. Girls only date a-holes until they are a 27 year old single mom with a body to match. Don't be like all the other girls, go find a nice computer programer with no life. He will treat you right, unless its D&D night.
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AndRoMe*** (9:00:08 PM): what do u do when sumone offers u something but u dont want it???? but u cant turn it down
Drunk Tom (9:01:21 PM): Leg lamp in Xmas Story..."accidentally" break it
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James**** (10:26:21 PM): i need some advice..... this girl will hump me if i say i love her, but im not sure if its just a crush or wateva... shes like super innocent and i dont wanna do her if we just gunna split anyways....what would u do?
Drunk Tom (10:28:34 PM): You will split with every girl sooner or later. Do her because she is using you to fill the void caused by the bad relationship with her father (tell me you love me daddy...errr i mean James). So get some bang bang outta it. When u get older, you may knock up something rotten while drunk at a party and be stuck with her. Your memories of past conquests will be all you have left.
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Mega **** [10:34 PM]: How do you make a girl who does not believe in love believe in love?
Drunk Tom [10:35 PM]: by breaking their little heart!!!!

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lilbam *** [11:06 PM]: I'm 21, but ummm, lost my ID. yeah....SO how can I still get drunk at shows?

Drunk Tom [11:08 PM]: Empty out a 4oz bottle of sun screen and fill it with 151. Thats like 8 shots worth, then have your cure fan friend do your makeup. When security askes you why you need sun screen in an indoor venue, point to your mall goth pale makeup, tell them that your an albino whos sensitive to spot lights.

To ask Tom a question or to get really messed up advice, shoot an IM to Drunk Tom on AIM or e-mail DrunkTom@aol.com

My Rants:  (This is an opinion and may not be shared by Live105 or any sane person)

What season is it?

Boycott "Happy Holidays"! Yeah, you heard me. What the hell is with political correctness. Its outta F'ing control!!! Merry Christmikkah-wanzaa? Why should we include extra names if we don't get...here it comes...Kwanzaamikah presents! That's what I'm getting at here people. Its why I have a big bone to pick with the "Joyous gift giving season" people. I'm not Catholic, Christian, Pagan, I'm not anything!!!...but I still get Christmas presents. I have never in my life gotten one darn Hanukkah gift!!! WTF! You want me to be Mr. PC, come with the Manischewitz wine this yet to be named time of the year.
Send booze to...
Attn: Tom Anger
Live 105
875 Battery St 2nd floor
SF, Ca 94111

November 3rd 2004
By Tom Anger

Just wanted to save you some time on Wednesday. (copy, paste and personalize)

What the (hell/heck)!!! The (insert winning party here) cheated!!! No way (insert your candidate) could have lost! Impeachment!!! Recount!!! The election was fixed by the (insert liars party here) who stole ballots and rigged the electronic voting machines. Oh! and (insert vice presidential candidate here) was at my polling place in a (black gas sucking SUV/Hybrid with too many bumper stickers) intimidating my (insert illegal/convict
relative/person posing as dead grandparents name here) into not illegally voting, which was not wrong because they MIGHT have done it too. We will not survive 4 years of (insert asshole here)!!! We are all dead. (insert candidate) would have (won/ended) the (illegal war/peace effort) tomorrow if they were not cheated out of this election! (God/Fuck) I'm soooo (pissed/ticked off) right now!

PS (insert oldest dearest friends name here) I hate you and I'm never speaking to you ever again because you voted for (insert douche bag here).

Carbs!!!!!

WHY!!! Twinkies went bankrupt because of the stupid Atkins A-holes!!! In 10 years some of those low carb people are gonna have heart attacks or prostate cancer and die. So in a way, I guess Atkins and South Beach will cure obesity if all the fat folks are dead. They better start digging really big holes because Atkins has a less then 1% success rate. Thats why so many people must do it and why so many chains have low carb menus now! No real doctors endorse it or say that its healthy, but companies can make a buck by promoting this lifestyle because they don't care about you. Live 105 cares.
Atkins had a heart attack, fell over and hit his head and his family would not allow an autopsy into his death because he was fat and they didn't want it known that he had clogged arteries. Atkins is a company that makes millions.
You know whats hella funny? Pepsi is introducing a low carb soda. Diet has no carbs already right? Safeway is running a radio ad that states low carb dieters eat 20g of carbs a day so people buy their deli wraps. How

stupid and irresponsible is that?
The Tom Anger Die-it
I was trying to not buy or eat from anywhere that did the low carb menu BS but its too hard. Now with Safeway I have no hope left when it comes to eating. I'm skinny like a pussy lil emo kid now. Hey, thats another great diet that will kill you, only its better then Atkins because you will die skinny. Don't eat at places that ignore your health to make a buck diet! Stop giving money to companies that don't care about you.

Remember to consult your doctor before starting the Tom Anger or any diet so they can laugh at you.

20? something questions with Tom Anger

1. Name as it appears on birth certificate. Thomas Anger (yeah its my real last name!!)
2. Current Residence: Castro Valley
3. Hometown: Hayward, Ca

4. Do you sing in the shower? No, I shower in the shower
5. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 27 but Mom won't let me play with fire
7. Tattoos: Nope, and I'm damn glad I'm not an adult with Marvin The Martian on my arm.
8. Piercing: No holes
9. Favorite color: Clear
10. Favorite Food(s): what ever cooks in my Microwave
11. Been to Africa?: No, I'm pee shy and don't know the public bathroom situation there.
12. Been toilet papering: Are you a cop?

13. Last person you had dinner with? My microwave and a Hot Pocket
14. Had phone sex? Why do you think I put up with doing phones for No Name back in the day? freaks all of them!
15. Done a strip tease for someone? Meet me at the Lusty Lady after my shift.
16. Been paid for sex? Still looking for a sugar momma.
17. Flashed someone to get some beads? Oh yeah www.Tom'sGoneWild.com
18. Been called a bitch? Yeah, when I was a guest on Ricki Lake for cheating on my midget stripper domestic partner.
19. Been in a car accident? I had an accident in a car once. Sorry boss!
20. Favorite Restaurant: Moss Beach Distillery for dates or Dave & Busters for dates I like.
2?. Favorite flowers: They cost too much and she is just gonna leave you anyway.
2?. Favorite sport to watch: Fishing and air hockey....Hey! none of that, its a sport!
2?. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Toys R Us

2?. Most annoying thing people ask me: Whats up?
2?. Bedtime: When I'm drunk enough to hook up with whats left in the bar.
2?. Favorite Movie(s): Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Goonies, Dazed and Confused
2?. Favorite TV show(s): Action, Family Guy, 24

Contact Tom Anger:
AIM: DrunkTom
Tom Anger is on weeknights midnight-2am, and whenever on the weekend. You can call him on the Request Line @ (415) 478-LIVE, Toll free @ (800) 696-1053, or # 105 from your Sprint PCS.

E-mail updates: I have an e-mail list if you want to be updated on whats going on, whats cool, where I'm gonna be hanging ect. Just hit me up DrunkTom@aol.com

Photos:

Hungover:

The afternoon after BFD...OUCH!!!

"Why does my mouth taste like cat pee?"

How do I know what cat pee tastes like?

Hey Bam, you better be looking straight behind them sunnies.

Porn star academy